TOW#1 "How to Say Nothing in 500 Words"

Intriguing title, isn’t it?  Mr. Perlman, my high school gifted teacher, always said to avoid saying nothing in your essays.  He attempted to tell us to make every word in your essay should be used in a precise way, each word should have meaning, and nothing should be redundant or unnecessary penguin. Paul Roberts, writer of great English textbooks, tells us the very same thing in this essay.  His main point is to inform modern high school or college students, his intended audience, how to make their writing matter by teaching them both what to and what not to do while writing an essay.  And Roberts comes out fighting with a killer exposition.  The introduction is a narrative of an English student attempting to write a 500 word essay on college football.  Since he has no interest in the subject, he writes the essay, but the essay is weak in content and practically the same as every other essay.  This narrative style helps the audience understand what saying nothing actually means.  Within that narrative, Roberts uses humor to help keep the attention of the reader.  My personal favorite was the line “he [The English Teacher] wonders how he allowed himself to get trapped into teaching English when he might have had a happy and interesting life as an electrician” (Roberts 2).  By adding the humor to the narrative, it keeps the point of the essay precise and interesting to the reader.  And androgynous young person, was this fun to read!  I felt like every word was carefully crafted to

While reading this essay, I left reading the essay feeling like I understood what saying nothing in an essay was.  His explanation of what to include (such as the least argued point and using the abnormal view) and what to chuck in the dustbin (such as clichéd phrases like “chuck in the dustbin”, abstraction, and colorless words).  His main point, as pointed out in the title, was to tell the audience what saying nothing in an essay was.  BUT, by teaching the audience how not to make an essay mean nothing, Roberts sneakily informs us how to write a better essay.  Much like his “Take the Less Usual Side” (Roberts 3) stance, instead of beating me over the head saying “MAKE YOUR ESSAY BETTER”, Roberts coolly sakes my hand and says “make you writing mean something”.  Of course when I look down at my hand, I find a note saying “Ha! You now know how to write better”, but Roberts has fled the scene.  I know chasing him would be futile, so I just soak up my lessen, well-learned.